8 Kinds of Gift Ideas That Will Ensure She Never Thinks 'My Mother In Law Doesn't Like Me'
What kinds of gifts for a daughter in law are acceptable when sending her happy birthday wishes?
While it may depend on the relationship you have with your son and her, there are plenty of great gifts you can give when sending a daughter-in-law happy birthday wishes.
She loves your son. And so regardless of how close you may or may not be to her, it's important that you give her a gift that shows she is appreciated and loved.
Remember, she is the one who will decide how well your grandkids know you! If you need a bit of inspiration search for daughter in law quotes or daughter in law poems online and start imagining how she would feel if you said some of these kind words to her.
While it may seem obvious that the most important thing is to make sure you are giving your daughter-in-law a gift that she really likes, if you don't know her personal style yet, it's better to err on the side of caution, and opt for a gift that expresses your affection.
Rather than try to choose the ideal gift of her dreams, it's most vital that she believes you feel blessed that she is part of your family. Even if you aren't sure yet what kind of relationship you will have, or you already feel a bit of tension, remember that the future of your relationship is in your hands as her mother in law.
Any step you take now toward a special gift for your daughter in law that will express your unconditional love and acceptance will only make your friendship stronger in years to come.
Be aware that while she may appreciate a gift card for her favorite store, you don't want it to appear it was a last minute gift that you ran into the drugstore to buy just to do your duty and send a gift. Instead, if you do give her a gift card, send it in the postal mail (not an e-card) and pair it with an additional personal gift that shows you put both effort and thought into it well in advance before her special day.
She may or may not be "judging" your gift of birthday wishes but you want it to feel one-hundred percent sincere. As a new bride, she will most likely be over-analyzing the intent behind the gift.
She may be trying to understand what your role as her husband's mother will be in this new marriage.
Focusing on her and her value as an individual, and not just your son's wife, will mean the world to her and gifts are a great place to start that process.
We've put together come different gift ideas for a daughter-in-law
If ever there was someone in your life you wanted to make sure a gift felt well thought out, it is the gift you buy your daughter in law.
Shopping for a daughter in law can also feel stressful. It may seem risky deciding upon a daughter in law birthday wishes kind of gift.
For example, while you may have always purchased new sheets for your son every year because it felt like a good household staple for him, she may read something into it, feeling odd that her mother in law is giving her sheets that she will be sleeping on with her husband. Or she may wonder if those trendy black sheets she bought are not met with your approval.
So, while you can go a bit crazy trying to figure out if you are reading too much into a gift, it's also worthwhile to not discount the benefit of thinking your gift through more than when you shopped solely for your son.
Because in some cases, giving a traditional or practical gift might not be nearly as appropriate as it was before your son was married.
We've put together 8 daughter in law present ideas that will make your her feel closer to you and appreciated, while also giving her a bit of joy for her birthday, holidays, or any day of celebration.
1) Give a gift that is fun. Yes, fun!
Remember when you were a new wife and all the insecurities you felt, paired up with that sense of adventure? As parents we want to show our kids that we desire to be involved in their life now that they are adults and so we must seek out what they consider fun.
This could be a Gift Card to a new restaurant she's mentioned wanting to try or a local home goods store she loves so she can decorate her home in her style. It could be an overnight stay in a new bed and breakfast an hour away, or a Spa Day box set that she can enjoy in weeks to come.
When seeking out suggestions online I saw gifts such as pajamas, a new purse, sunglasses, and a coat. My own mom wouldn't be able to know my style or size well enough to choose one of these, so resist anything too personal until you get to know her better.
Bonus tip: Don't overspend! There are 2 important reasons
If she and your son are concerned about or trying to save money, giving a gift that is a small splurge is a nice gesture... but...
...if you spend too much it will appear you are trying too hard.
Plus, you don't want to spend more on your daughter in law's birthday gift than your own son!
2) Give a gift that is affectionate
Gifts are symbols of our appreciation to others and giving a personal gift to your daughter in law is a way of showing you respect her and the woman she is.
If there are any walls she may have started to build up, even because of past relationships with women in her life, it will help break them down before they get too tall.
Here at Gutsy Goodness we have some ideal handmade jewelry for daughter in laws.It's trendy, not overly expensive and you can choose a theme she may like, even if it's Dog Mom or boho chic style. Plus, the daughter in law jewelry all has daughter in law message cards too.
If you don't have a close relationship yet, don't get too mushy. Go with something more fun.
If you are sending a daughter in law happy birthday wishes, it could be a small piece of jewelry that celebrates the beginning of your friendship, rather than acting she is your best friend in the world.
And if you aren't sure of her jewelry style yet, opt for a keychain. She can use it on her daily keys, her occasional keys, or even clip it onto a tote bag or purse.
3) If you feel the vibe, opt for a specific mother in law/daughter in law gift
While you don't need to give your daughter in law a relationship themed gift for every occasion for years to come, those first few years she may appreciate it immensely because it helps her know she has your approval and is accepted into the family, not just tolerated.
If you have more than one daughter in law these kinds of gifts also make thoughtful presents to give each of them on a holiday like Christmas, Mother's Day or National Daughter In Law Day.
4) A gift she will use for years to come
Sometimes it's hard to think of the "perfect" gift, but the most everyday gift along with a thoughtful note explaining why you are giving it to her and give it extra meaning.
Give her daughter in law presents that will last for years that she will be able to reflect back on as a favorite from early on in her marriage.
A personalized jewelry case for traveling: Write a note that says "as many adventures and trips await in your
favorite jewelry with you and never have to waste your time untangling necklaces when you can be exploring.
If you have an inside joke or a personal story that may make it even more meaningful include that too.
Buy her a pretty vase with a note "I have learned that having my favorite flowers can brighten up even the toughest days. I hope my son always brings you flowers, but never hesitate to splurge on yourself and fill this vase when you need a bit of joy in your day."
5) A subscription box to something she'd love.
Does she love fashion, DIY, books, art? Does she consider herself a Dog Mom or a Boss Girl?
One of our favorites? Life's a Wave BEACH Box.It's be perfect with a note that you hope this brings the beach to her all year round.
There is a subscription box for everything and it will be a monthly reminder to her that you took time to find something just for her. If you aren't sure what her favorite theme may be ask your son for some ideas.
6) Something personal from the family archives
If you are looking for a daughter in law gift on her wedding day this could also be a sentimental gesture. While a family-themed gift should not be her only gift, she may appreciate that copy of family recipes you gave your other daughter in law a few years ago.
Maybe you've recently digitized a bunch of old family photos and she'd love to have them of your son when he was young.
Do you share the same culture? Or would she appreciate you reaching out to her in this way? For example, a gift for your daughter in law in Spanish may be an extra-special sentiment if that is her heritage.
A family-related gift like this will remind her just how glad you are to welcome her to your family and want her to feel comfortable in it.
7) Have a sense of humor? Share it!
It may make her feel a bit more relaxed around you.
Now that all the wedding chaos has passed, there's likely a few inside jokes you share, like the flower girl getting her foot stuck in the toilet (um, my story).
There are lots of daughter in law funny quotes that you can share with her. Either as a gift or just a funny text the morning of her birthday, let her know you know how to laugh, especially at yourself.
8) Call her.
While this should not be the only gift you give, regardless of what kind of relationship you have or how awkward the call may feel, a phone call to personally wish her a happy birthday and ask her about her day will always be treasured. Only the most important people in our lives celebrate our birthday with us, so be one of those in her life.
A text message is also nice along with a quote about daughter in laws. There are lots of images online of daughter in law poems you could send. Want to leave her a personal voice mail message but feeling too much anxiety about calling? Use a free service like Slydial to leave her a voicemail. You can share your wishes for her day and just hang up.
Whatever gift you end up choosing, let her know that you give it to her with affection and without strings.
Gifts for birthdays and special occasions means the most when she has felt your unconditional acceptance all the time.
If you are looking for daughter in law to-be gifts because has not yet married into your family, consider these same tips and be a little less intimate in the message you share with her.
If you need help deciding what to gift her, go through her social media pages and find out things that she has liked or mentioned that she would like to have. You may be able to discover her musical tastes, TV show favorites and decoration style.
Ask your son this or that questions: "Beach or mountains?" "Fine dining or BBQ?" "Dresses or jeans?" "A big party or a quiet night with friends?"
Rather than asking "what would she like?" you may get more information this way!
Most daughter in laws will give grace if the gift is a bit awkward, but try your best to avoid this scenario. If you ask your husband or your son "is this appropriate for her?" you will likely be told "It's fine. You are overthinking this."
Women, however, know just how much a gift conveys to the recipient and we want to do our best to send the right message.
You can always confess: "I so wanted to get you the perfect gift but we're still getting to know each other. I'll get better at this."
Quick tips for things to avoid?
Let's say you just heard about this new local business where one can go and prepare dinners ahead of time. Wouldn't she love that? Nope! This could feel like you are communicating that she needs to cook more often or better, healthier meals. If your son specifically mentioned how much they wanted to try this, then it may be a fun gift to give them as a couple (Valentine's Day or anniversary.) However, give it to both of them, not just your daughter in law.
Other gifts to avoid:
How To books that could insinuate she can't figure out something on her own; appliances that can be interpreted that she doesn't clean, cook, bake, do any household chore well enough. Even cook books should be avoided until you know her better.
If giving money, pair it with a personal gift and don't give it to them as a "couple" for her birthday.
Art or religious pieces. Both of these are very personal and she will feel pressure to display it.
Plants. She will feel awful when they die... and they will.
A "theme" you think she should embrace. If you've looked around and decided a flamingo theme would work perfectly for her apartment, resist the urge! Let her find her own style over time. And when she does, don't oversaturate it with a ton of gifts specific to that style.
Avoid gifts where you invite yourself along. For example, you can give her the gift of a mani-pedi for two for her and a friend. If she chooses to invite you instead, graciously accept, but don't insinuate she must.
Just as important as knowing what to bless your daughter-in-law with is knowing what not to give. Gifts that are too personal or intimate can be particularly awkward or she may feel like you are inserting yourself too far into her new marriage.
In any case, one of the best gifts to give your daughter-in-law is practical but still memorable, whether it's something she can add to her home or her wardrobe. (Don't buy her a coat, buy her a scarf.)
The nice thing is that you don't need to be too personal to find such a gift. As long as you put a little thought into it beforehand, you'll avoid coming off as too pushy while still making an impression that won't soon be forgotten.
If you give a meaningful gift, aimed at establishing and nurturing the relationship between you and your daughter in law, the future will be smoother and happier for all involved.
The most important message to give your daughter in law on her birthday or any special day is that you love her and you want the best for her.
The best words in a card may be...
"I see how hard you work and how much of yourself you dedicate to making my son happy and comfortable. I couldn't ask for a more amazing daughter in law and look forward to the friendship we will have for many years."
Affirm what is important to her and that she is doing the best she can--even if you think she could do better.
Most daughter in laws want to please and impress their mother in laws, but if they feel it is impossible they will quickly give up and distance themselves. Once this happens it may be irreparable to ever rebuild the relationship completely.
If you'd like nothing more than to give her a gift that will put a smile on her face and make her feel a sense of belonging, give her a gift you feel pleased with and a caring message to accompany it.
It will be something she will forever reflect back on whenever she worries she is not meeting your mother-in-law expectations.
What may seem as a simple birthday wishes gift can forever change the direction of your relationship, not only with your daughter in law, but with your son and his family.